How tiny breaths teach us big things

Day 95

I’m not sure why today is an emotional hardship.  But I’m being honest and saying it is.  Perhaps it’s because of a friend-of-a-friend’s loss of a child yesterday (I don’t even want to label NICU baby or Preemie–it seems to not do the precious LIFE justice).  Perhaps it’s because Struthers isn’t having a great day, and he slid backwards over the last 24-hours, taking only one feeding orally and seemingly in pain all day long. Perhaps it’s because I’m facing a hysterectomy in the coming weeks, with a date to be determined but imminently hanging over my head.  Perhaps it’s because I know we will surpass 100 days in the NICU, a mark I once thought was unbelievable, and I pitied the NICU family we met who had been there that long.

I realized also that while I sometimes share my emotions here, I rarely share the images that capture the ‘rough days’.  And just as it is difficult to describe the emotions, it’s difficult to tell you what’s “wrong” on these bad days.  But a picture is worth a thousand words. Thanks for the continued prayers!


1 Comment

  1. Cami Bremer

    Comments imported from CaringBridge (18 comments):

    Thank you for sharing, Cami. Know that we are praying for you and PLEASE let me know if there’s anything else I (we) can do.
    —Tamsey, February 19, 2015

    Praying for each of you.
    —Mittie Bryan, February 18, 2015

    Praying that God will strengthen Struthers and you with his continued healing powers & love.
    —brenda geer, February 18, 2015

    Prayers and hugs for all of you.
    —Jean Satterfield, February 18, 2015

    Some days are just overwhelming. Every day, God’s love is overwhelming! You can be overwhelmed in the good and the bad, He understands. Much love and continued prayer!
    —Kathy Holmes, February 18, 2015

    We continue to pray for you all.
    —Evania Ku, February 18, 2015

    II Samuel 22:30….. “With You I can attack a barrier and with my God I can leap over a wall”. I want so badly to say things to you about the extremity of what you are experiencing…. And say words of sympathy… But this is a
    battle… I know you are tired of fighting…. All any of us can say is…. Look to Jesus. We are praying here! Bless you all!
    —Brenda and Don also, February 18, 2015

    Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for YOUR Lord YOUR God is with you wherever you may go — forwards or backwards.
    —The Dillards, February 18, 2015

    As trite as it may sound — we might not recognize the steps that move us forward if we weren’t also forced to deal with the steps that move us backward. Two steps forward, one backward, two more steps forward, another back. I’m so glad God has his omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience at work here. And so glad that this day will end, and the sun will eventually come up on a brand new one.
    —Mommy, February 18, 2015

    May God bless and keep you and your family close!
    —Love,Theresa, February 18, 2015

    Know that you are precious to God and to many of us who know & love you. Sharing how you feel as well is is good and helpful to do. It gives us the chance to be specific in our prayers. Your feelings & love are deep & God has you in His arms for…whatever is the plan. I know you are a witness and will continue to remain strong. Not easy, but bearable. It won’t last “forever” & today is a new day. Hugs with love
    —Marj Wise, February 18, 2015

    Praying for all. Love you.
    —Joy Breeden, February 18, 2015

    Praying for you too with your ups and downs. GOD IS GOOD-ALL THE TIME-GOD IS GOOD (Hugs)
    —Ann Alvis, February 18, 2015

    Thanks for sharing your vulnerable thoughts, your ups and downs. Your blogs are very real, and helps us to know how to pray for you Cami and for your sweet Struthers. I pray today will be a blessing.
    —Lois Showalter, February 18, 2015

    Prayers for Sweet baby Struthers! He is precious and I am sorry he had a rough day! Praying today will be a better day for him and for you too!
    —Susie Short, February 18, 2015

    Y’all remain in our thoughts and prayers, especially you & Struthers. Praying for strength and comfort for each
    day. Love you.
    —David Summerall, February 18, 2015

    Praying for better days and peace. Hugs!!
    —Susan and Larry Hill, February 18, 2015

    May the God of peace and comfort hold you up during the difficult days. Fervent prayers continue for all of you. Hugs and kisses from Albany.
    —Milli Sample, February 18, 2015

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