Tomorrow, yesterday and today…you may wonder why I’ve placed those time descriptors in that order. But if you know me, you also know that it sums up my life that I much prefer to look forward to tomorrow than dwell on today or yesterday. But today, tomorrow seems much more ominous. Tomorrow, I will undergo an interventional angiogram to take a look at my carotid and cerebral arteries. It’s a fairly straightforward procedure, and one I should get a punch card discount on now, but this time it seems ominous. Not because of anything medical or an “impending sense of doom”, but quite frankly because I’m now a parent. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t consider writing a letter to Eli and Struthers today. I’d be lying to let you think I didn’t spend today paying and automating bills and making sure Eli had access to all the accounts (and writing some of the overdue thank-you notes). So today, I AM thinking about tomorrow, but perhaps being more realistic than usual, instead of wishing it all away with positive thoughts.
So on that note, here are some specific prayer requests for TOMORROW:
–Prayers for Dr. Kumpe, who has saved my life several times over now, and will be doing tomorrow’s procedure as well. I kind of hope that they decide to finally stabilize my left carotid artery, which has dissected a few times now and formed an aneurysm.
–Prayers for Struthers to have a good solid day and spend some quality cuddle time with Daddy while Mommy’s not there. What a blessing that his primary day nurse, Lauren, will be back tomorrow after having a few days of rotating (but excellent) nurses. Lauren knows my child very well, and I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that tomorrow.
–Prayers that the “flyby” view of my kidneys (they are going through my femoral artery on the way to the neck/head) will provide them with enough definitive evidence to know whether another renal intervention will be needed in the coming week(s).
–Prayers that the prednisone and benadryl pre-treatment work to stave off the allergy I have to the contrast required in the procedure.
–Prayers for us to find comfort in my being flat on my back for the required 4-6 hours following the procedure. It’s always the most miserable part of these angiograms (it’s not easy to keep me down that long), but this time we will have the added difficulty associated with my body doing what it does to provide my son with food ;). And prayers that whatever happens with that tomorrow, we are able to get back on track in the following days and I can continue to provide what he needs from me to keep growing at this pace.
–That the absence management company my employer uses approves the additional short-term disability time requested by physicians. I received a letter on Monday that somehow the paperwork was only in place for approved medical leave through yesterday. Again, my manager(s) and employer have been amazing in working with me and have bent over backwards to ensure I can put my focus where it’s needed right now. So the prayer request is really just a logistical one that the paperwork end be fixed. It’s obvious I cannot return yet due to my own medical needs, much less Struthers’.
Praises for YESTERDAY:
–Struthers continues to gain weight, and is now 4 pounds, 7 ounces, or 2030 grams–this is almost triple his lowest weight after birth (~700 grams). He’s beginning to acquire some of the reflexes that will allow him to eat, but he doesn’t quite have the suck, swallow, breathe thing down yet. He’s still receiving 100% of his 100% from-mom feedings through a feeding tube.
–I’m able to establish a bit of a routine now, and it allowed me a few minutes to catch up on mail and bill-paying and those overdue thank you notes!
–Safe travels for Eli back and forth, and a trio of gracious friends and neighbors who have bailed us out and dog-napped, let in or out, or just stopped and played with Einstein, allowing Eli to come spend chunks of time up here without worrying too much about my fur-baby at home.
Living in the Moment TODAY:
–Mommy spent lots of time just snuggling with Snuggle Bear (I know, he’ll outgrow this name). Struthers was very sleepy and his physical therapist even decided to let him to keep resting so soundly in my arms and skipped the workout for today.
–My appointment with my vascular specialist went well, and we’re all on the same page for tomorrow’s procedure.
–I was able to speak on the phone with my interim manager at work today, and it was nice to just touch base, since I haven’t been to work since she began filling a vacancy left by my previous supervisor. I couldn’t ask for a more gracious and understanding person to be in that position right now. What a blessing, and she knew Struthers’ name!
–There was a moment today when Eli and I were both writing notes to people, and Michele (AKA Gramma Shell) was addressing them, all while Struthers slept on my shoulder. This could have been an almost-normal scene…except for the beeps of the NICU, and umm, Eli writing notes!
Thanks for the continued prayers! Eli, Cami and Struthers