TinyBreaths

How tiny breaths teach us big things

Tomorrow, Yesterday and Today

Tomorrow, yesterday and today…you may wonder why I’ve placed those time descriptors in that order. But if you know me, you also know that it sums up my life that I much prefer to look forward to tomorrow than dwell on today or yesterday. But today, tomorrow seems much more ominous. Tomorrow, I will undergo an interventional angiogram to take a look at my carotid and cerebral arteries. It’s a fairly straightforward procedure, and one I should get a punch card discount on now, but this time it seems ominous. Not because of anything medical or an “impending sense of doom”, but quite frankly because I’m now a parent. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t consider writing a letter to Eli and Struthers today. I’d be lying to let you think I didn’t spend today paying and automating bills and making sure Eli had access to all the accounts (and writing some of the overdue thank-you notes). So today, I AM thinking about tomorrow, but perhaps being more realistic than usual, instead of wishing it all away with positive thoughts.

So on that note, here are some specific prayer requests for TOMORROW:

–Prayers for Dr. Kumpe, who has saved my life several times over now, and will be doing tomorrow’s procedure as well. I kind of hope that they decide to finally stabilize my left carotid artery, which has dissected a few times now and formed an aneurysm.

–Prayers for Struthers to have a good solid day and spend some quality cuddle time with Daddy while Mommy’s not there. What a blessing that his primary day nurse, Lauren, will be back tomorrow after having a few days of rotating (but excellent) nurses. Lauren knows my child very well, and I’m glad I don’t have to worry about that tomorrow.

–Prayers that the “flyby” view of my kidneys (they are going through my femoral artery on the way to the neck/head) will provide them with enough definitive evidence to know whether another renal intervention will be needed in the coming week(s).

–Prayers that the prednisone and benadryl pre-treatment work to stave off the allergy I have to the contrast required in the procedure.

–Prayers for us to find comfort in my being flat on my back for the required 4-6 hours following the procedure. It’s always the most miserable part of these angiograms (it’s not easy to keep me down that long), but this time we will have the added difficulty associated with my body doing what it does to provide my son with food ;). And prayers that whatever happens with that tomorrow, we are able to get back on track in the following days and I can continue to provide what he needs from me to keep growing at this pace.

–That the absence management company my employer uses approves the additional short-term disability time requested by physicians. I received a letter on Monday that somehow the paperwork was only in place for approved medical leave through yesterday. Again, my manager(s) and employer have been amazing in working with me and have bent over backwards to ensure I can put my focus where it’s needed right now. So the prayer request is really just a logistical one that the paperwork end be fixed. It’s obvious I cannot return yet due to my own medical needs, much less Struthers’.

Praises for YESTERDAY:

–Struthers continues to gain weight, and is now 4 pounds, 7 ounces, or 2030 grams–this is almost triple his lowest weight after birth (~700 grams). He’s beginning to acquire some of the reflexes that will allow him to eat, but he doesn’t quite have the suck, swallow, breathe thing down yet. He’s still receiving 100% of his 100% from-mom feedings through a feeding tube.

–I’m able to establish a bit of a routine now, and it allowed me a few minutes to catch up on mail and bill-paying and those overdue thank you notes!

–Safe travels for Eli back and forth, and a trio of gracious friends and neighbors who have bailed us out and dog-napped, let in or out, or just stopped and played with Einstein, allowing Eli to come spend chunks of time up here without worrying too much about my fur-baby at home.

Living in the Moment TODAY:

–Mommy spent lots of time just snuggling with Snuggle Bear (I know, he’ll outgrow this name). Struthers was very sleepy and his physical therapist even decided to let him to keep resting so soundly in my arms and skipped the workout for today.

–My appointment with my vascular specialist went well, and we’re all on the same page for tomorrow’s procedure.

–I was able to speak on the phone with my interim manager at work today, and it was nice to just touch base, since I haven’t been to work since she began filling a vacancy left by my previous supervisor. I couldn’t ask for a more gracious and understanding person to be in that position right now. What a blessing, and she knew Struthers’ name!

–There was a moment today when Eli and I were both writing notes to people, and Michele (AKA Gramma Shell) was addressing them, all while Struthers slept on my shoulder. This could have been an almost-normal scene…except for the beeps of the NICU, and umm, Eli writing notes!

Thanks for the continued prayers! Eli, Cami and Struthers

1 Comment

  1. Cami Bremer

    May 5, 2016 at 9:18 pm

    Comments imported from CaringBridge:

    prayers for all of you from the Dorsey family
    —Jan dorsey, January 11, 2015

    All my love and prayers to all of you. If there’s anything at all I can do, please let me know.
    —Kelly Maher, January 10, 2015

    You are amazing. Of course you have our prayers. And you are seldom far from our thoughts.
    —Mary Sumners, January 10, 2015

    Hoping that your procedure went well yesterday. I have FMD also and will talk to you later. Just praying now for you and your family.
    —Eleanor Tripp Watson, January 10, 2015

    Hey sweetie, Am up early praying for you. Have moved back to Leesburg to be around the best people I have ever been around and you were one of the first! God has a perfect plan and we will be praying for your perfect plan.
    —Henry Crain, January 10, 2015

    Cami, I am a cousin of your mom, We and all our church have been praying and will continue. I know my God and what He can do. Prayers and love to all of you.
    —Sara Green, January 9, 2015

    Thank you for keeping us posted so that we can pray for specific requests for you, Struthers, and Eli. Cami, we are surrounding you with prayers, love, and support. Continue to lean on God and the people around you. I’m sending special hugs especially for you! By the way, you are an excellent writer! What a great gift! Hmmmm….let me guess where that came from!!!
    —Jill Lindsey, January 9, 2015

    Talked to your Mom on Sunday and she told me the procedure would be done this week. We have been praying and will continue. You are a strong woman Cami Grebel Bremer. Always have been.
    —Susan Dillard, January 9, 2015

    hi Cami i am friends with your mom on facebook. prayers for your surgery tomorrow. Struthers is a precious baby and we all look forward to your posts about him once all of you are home.
    —Deborah Weldon, January 9, 2015

    Continuing to pray
    —Rosalyn Forsyth, January 9, 2015

    Thanks so much for these wonderful details and specific prayer requests. We will be continuing to pray!
    —Don and Brenda Adams, January 9, 2015

    You don’t know me, nor does that matter at all. Just know that there are many of us out here praying for you and your family through this journey. What matters most is that you are able to rest in the peace that only God can give when you believe you are all in His hands. As a friend of my mom’s once said when Mama was having a particularly bad day, “I pray she will feel those angel’s wings wrapped around her, sheltering her in God’s love”. God bless you all.
    —Cheryl Holland Little, January 9, 2015

    Prayers lifted up for you, Eli and Struthers, as well as your extended families. I “get” the pre surgical stuff, all of it, expecially the thought of somehow being in control if you have complications. I understand teaching others your legal issues, your wishes, your needs to make it easy on others. Not sure we can “control”, but like me, I know you have put your very best forward. Please, please let God take care of you. There is enough healing energy for all of you to receive. Love you! C
    —claire stoeckel, January 9, 2015

    I just want you to know I am praying for you and struthers. Please know God is beside you and struthers and walks with you both.
    —elizabeth tate, January 9, 2015

    Praying for you ALL today, and especially your momma heart Cami! May the Lord continue to bless Dr. Kumpe’s hands and instinct in caring for you. Much love to you!!
    —Sharon Samuelson, January 9, 2015

    Cami – Know that all 3 of you are being held up in a strong praying community. I have and will continue to keep you in my personal prayers. I will especially pray for peace for you as you lay on your back after the procedure for however long you have to do that. Blessings on you, Tamara
    —Tamara ODell, January 9, 2015

    Prayers for yesterday, today and tomorrow Cami, Eli, Struthers and Einstein! You are a much loved child of a most high God! Your faith is inspiring! I am carrying your sweet family in my heart. Love and warm hugs from Albany.
    —Milli Sample, January 9, 2015

    Praying for your tomorrow, yesterday, and today! Love you!
    —Jo Cochran, January 9, 2015

    Thank you for such incredible insight into your lives as they are today. My prayers continue. Love you so much!
    —Becky Boyd, January 9, 2015

    You and your precious family are always, always in my prayers!
    —Kristin Smith, January 9, 2015

    You will be prayed over throughout the day Cami, all of your requests will be lifted by many to our gracious and loving God.
    —Barbara Raines, January 9, 2015

    Prayers for you and your family!!
    —cristy grizzard, January 9, 2015

    May God keep you and your family in his hands at this time!
    —Theresa Myers, January 9, 2015

    Praying for u all always. God bless
    —linda Wilson, January 9, 2015

    Praying for your Procedure today! You all are amazing and Struthers is such a little blessing… growing and gaining! Awesome! Continued prayers for you, your family, the doctors and nurses! Love from Leesburg, GA!
    —Susie Short, January 9, 2015

    Prayers, Cami! So glad to hear the great updates on Struthers, and praying for good results for you as well!
    —marilyn maxey gibson, January 9, 2015

    Special prayers for you today. I am so proud of you Cami. Your faith and strength amaze me.
    —mary barrett, January 9, 2015

    praying for you and your family and the doctors
    —tracy bush, January 9, 2015

    Special prayers will be going up today.
    —Debra Powell, January 9, 2015

    Sending prayers your way from Albany!
    —Kimberly Williams, January 9, 2015

    Wow, that is quite a bit on your plate girl! Continuing to pray for you and your family. God’s got this!
    —Kim Conley, January 9, 2015

    My thoughts and prayers for you
    —Ann Alvis, January 9, 2015

    Cami, Praying for you, Struthers and Eli right now. You are so strong and kind. May our Lord wrap you in His loving care before during and after this procedure. Hugs and love, Susan
    —Susan Winston, January 9, 2015

    Cami, please know and feel the prayers coming from Lee County continue for you and your precious family. God holds you and Struthers in the palm of His mighty and loving hands!
    —Teresa Neff, January 9, 2015

    Praying for you. I know that God has you firmly in his hands. Peace and a perfect procedure for you tomorrow.
    —Lisa Lindley, January 9, 2015

    Continued prayers for you all!
    —Lanz Cook, January 8, 2015

    I am praying Cami. My mom spoke to your mom at the store earlier this week and we have been praying for you ever since. Looking forward to hearing more good news soon! Love to you, Eli, and Struthers
    —Mandy Pipkins, January 8, 2015

    You are in my thoughts and prayers Cami.
    —Jenny Meadows, January 8, 2015

    Love you, Cami. Please know that you, Struthers, and Eli are in our prayers. I am so thankful for his weight gain. Keep us updated concerning your procedure. Blessings to you and your precious family!
    —Joan Burns, January 8, 2015

    I can’t even imagine……You are one strong woman! I admire you.
    —Karen Rutter, January 8, 2015

    You are all amazing. Love and prayers (I figure some Hebrew ones can’t hurt!).
    —Leslie Hickey, January 8, 2015

    I am amazed at how fast Struthers is growing! Oh how I wish I could hold him in my arms… Many hugs and prayers for all three of you!
    —Greer Alley, January 8, 2015

    Prayers for all three of you. Today, Tomorrow and everyday after that!!
    —Susan Hill, January 8, 2015

    Special prayers for you and your family.
    —Claire Kirkpatrick, January 8, 2015

    Continued prayers for you and your family. May God’s loving arms keep you safe tomorrow and for many days to come.
    —Connie Conover, January 8, 2015

    Praying, praying, praying!!!thanks for sharing do openly and honestly. Can’t begin to imagine all the feelings. Love you!!
    —Laurie Bossert, January 8, 2015

    So glad to read this. Special prayers for your tomorrow.
    —Jean Satterfield, January 8, 2015

    Continued prayers for you and your family. May God’s loving arms keep you safe tomorrow and for many days to come.
    —Connie Conover, January 8, 2015

    You are my rock, my solstice, my every breath, and please know that with every SINGLE beat of my heart, I am whispering another prayer for you and for yours. Every being in my body yearns to be there with you tomorrow. But I also know that I’m not the one you really need there. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure my
    own concerns would be more of a detriment than a comfort if I were there. The only one you really need by your side tomorrow is Jesus, and we both know he’s proven his presence in your sweet life time and time again. I love you, Cami, so very, very much, and please know that I am in there in spirit. I so wish we didn’t live a half a country away from each other, but I also know that you are right where God wants you, and I know the same about me. Hang in there, sweet Cami. I pray that you have a peaceful rest tonight, and I pray for the wisdom and
    the heavenly guidance for the doctor — that God guide his hands, manifest his wisdom, and bring all of his medical expertise to its very peak tomorrow. And I also pray that Eli, Struthers, your sisters, your dad, and I experience the peace that passeth all understanding. Love you more. — Mommy
    —Coni Grebel, January 8, 2015

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