For weeks I’ve listened to Brahm’s Lullaby play sporadically but frequently over the loudspeaker system at St. Francis Medical Center. And this tune that generally inspires would immediately illicit a pit in my stomach. Why? That sentimental melody signifies that a baby has just been born in the hospital. It signifies something so very normal, yet miraculous. I imagine the grandparents I just passed waiting in the lobby rejoicing, a proud new father in the delivery room cutting the umbilical cord, doctors proclaiming “It’s a Girl!” or “It’s a Boy!”, and someone pressing SEND on a pre-scripted email announcing a joyous arrival. And yet, none of that happened for us. We had a miracle for sure, but it didn’t look or feel like the others around us.
So while I’ve been grieving the loss of ‘normal’ anything, our boy has grown and suddenly allowed us some normal new-parent experiences. He did so well this last week that he was moved to a ‘regular’ room on Thursday night and I was asked to room in and give this full-time caretaker thing a try. And with the move from the regular NICU to the Annex, a security bracelet was generated, triggering the beloved lullaby to be played–this time for my child! I was overwhelmed with emotion, not to mention excitement and anxiety that we were nearing taking our former-1-pounder home at last!
Long story short, I sit tonight listening to Brahm’s playing on Struthers’ mobile, while he watches giraffes and elephants parade above him…in his own crib! And the song that only days ago elicited inner turmoil is now a nostalgic reminder of how very far God has brought us!
We are thankful and blessed to be home now, and are looking forward to navigating some normal new parent woes. As always, thanks for the prayers! I will fill you in on the discharge/homecoming details, including what’s next, stats, how it’s going at home and my plans in a later entry.